Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

So I was at my brother-in-law's surprise birthday party/bbq on saturday night. Pretty much in the midst of the older crowd consisting mainly of my older sisters' friends and counterparts.

After a few beers I decided to mingle with the crew, you know, introduce myself, tell them who I am, what I do and so on and so forth.

One of the guys there states that he's a cop and has been with the RCMP for 12 years...

to which I responded in the sly tone,

"Oh.... so you're one of them."

No one laughed.

Pop quiz hotshot!

Your best friend is caught "getting his freak on" with a lady friend in the bedroom of another friend's older brother during a house party.

At least one of them is drunk.

What do you do?
 
What do you do?

Comments on this would be greatly appreciated.

A tip of the hat...

to whoever designs those cool plates at the all-you-can-eat sushi! Sometimes the setup is so cool, you don't wanna eat it, you'd rather just look.
 
Or perhaps it distracts you from the fact that they are charging you for a meal that isn't cooked.

Imagine that....

Sailors just off the coast of Turkey last week, found an injured seagull on their vessel.

Upon closer inspection, they noticed that one of the bird's legs was severely damaged and suffering from gangrene. Not wanting to kill the bird, the sailors decided to do the best thing possible.

Possibly having a niche for pirates with peg-legs, the sailors amputated the leg and replaced it with the arm of a barbie doll.

Reports now state that the seagull is alive and well and constantly flys close to the vessel and even eats morsels of food from the hands of the humane sailors that saved its life.

My only question is, "just what on earth were these sailors doing with a barbie doll in the first place?"

Everybody get down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... and stay down.

Introducing the hottest new night club to hit Vancouver, from the famous chain that has attracted celebrities throughout North America...

The PaddyWagon!!!!!!!!

That's right, and the stars agree

24/7, No guest lists, no line ups.. the staff just picks you out of the crowd.

featuring a studio atmosphere with exciting gray walls and blue and red lights with a stainless steel toilet in the corner.

and playing whatever music is on the radio, with a state of the art sound system mounted on the shoulders of all staff.

no worries about the ride home either... at the PaddyWagon, you can stay the night!

And as an added bonus for the opening, get free wristbands when you enter and a photoshoot of your profile to boot, so dress sexxxy ladies!!!!!!!!!!! and join in the lastest dance sensation... with your hands behind your back while you repeatedly head-butt the door!

Makes ya think....

Chris Bell of Big Star
Dennes Boon of The Middlemen
Les Harvey of Stone the Crows
Robert Johnson
Johnny Kidd
Helmut Koellen of Triumvirat
Jimmy McCulloch of Wings
Gary Thain of Uriah Heep
Jason Thirsk of Pennywise
Al Wilson of Canned Heat
Wallace Yohn of Chase
Ron McKernan of The Grateful Dead
Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones

Kurt Cobain of Nirvana

Janis Joplin

Jimi Hendrix

Jim Morrison of The Doors

... all died at the age of 27.

This is why I'll become a rock star at 28.

Just another random fact...

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

you can thank me later.

Well I Do Say....

So elections were this past monday (June 28th). And for the many days preceeding it, I was flabbergasted by the state of our nation.

My family constantly told me to vote NDP... especially my communist sister in toronto, who actually called me just to tell me who to vote for.

Anyways, on Monday morning, just before i left for work, i decided to go to the polling station at the elementary school nearby and just get it over with. Into the gymnasium i walked, went up to my poll booth (#149 to be exact) and was handed a ballot, which i was to take with me as i walk behind the booth and stand behind an erect "pizza box" where i am to grab a dinky pencil and mark an "X" on the candidate of my liking.

The NDP dude was on the top of the list... naturally i was about to cross that one off, but my subconciouss stopped me. and then i scanned the rest of the names on the ballot to see the parties they were running for.

The bottom of the list had some dude running from the Marxist-Lenninist Society.

So i did the only thing i could do, since i was pressured by my family. I revolted... i picked the Marxist-Lenninist dude.

'Cause hey.... if you're going to vote communist, you may as well just go all out!

"I Coulda Been A Contender..."

Marlon Brando

April 3rd, 1924 - July 2nd, 2004

You Know It's Time To Wash Your Car...

...when your friends douse it in teriyaki sauce.